Insecurities… hm, what does that word mean to you? What do you think about when you see or hear this word?
To me, it’s a word that has me bound.
I’m shackled by this word and all it symbolizes – struggling to grasp my freedom. I try to decipher why I cannot seem to escape its clutches but of this revelation I fall short.
I’m running but I cannot hide on these mirrored streets.
I keep seeing what I dislike rather than what I love and adore about what makes me, me.
I’m insecure about many things. Insecure about my weight, height, how wide my smile gets. Insecure about my importance to others. Insecure about a lot. Insecure about some ridiculous things that the people who love me don’t see or even acknowledge.
Some of these insecurities were as a result of the ignorant opinions of others and some are due to lack of confidence and a sense of self… and dare I say a lack of reassurance.
Physically, I’m insecure about the shape of my face, the scar on my nose and chin, how flat my stomach is, how tiny I am and also the way I show more gums than teeth when I smile.
Despite these worrying about my insecurities more often than not; I don’t wish to change anything about myself, even if granted the chance. Not one thing. It’s simply that some things are harder to accept when you’ve grown up with them being constantly pinpointed. Constantly highlighted. However, I remind myself that how can I expect someone to love me more than I love myself? I should love every aspect of all that I am before I expect someone else to.
I’ve grown older and made the conscious decision to put away childish thoughts.
I need to love myself for who I am and all that I could be.
I am beautiful.
I am beautiful, regardless of my scars. Regardless of what I’ve been through or will go through.
I am beautiful despite someone else’s beauty. Another woman’s beauty is truly not the absence of my own.
And you know what, something you may hate about yourself, may be the reason someone you love loves you.
You may think perhaps that your eyes are big. Yet the one you love thinks they’re the most amazing things to look into. They may love the twinkle they get when you look at them. The way you staring at them may warm their heart and soul.
Trust me, you don’t know how beautiful you really are.
– Pick apart your insecurities and think about the reasons why you feel the way that you do.
– Think about how you can see or work on this flaw to make it better. Or learn how to accept it. Love it. Own it.
Remember, you’re beautiful because you’re you. You’re amazing and worthy of love.
Someone else’s beauty doesn’t define your own.
Look into the mirror and tell yourself how much you love every inch of all that makes you yourself. Affirmations go a long way!!
– Diandra C.
20 March 2018